Love your enemies...

Dave here...

This morning Calvin came crying into the bathroom where I was getting ready, complaining about how Violet said she wouldn't play with him and shut herself in her room.  Often, I would fetch the other sibling and have them talk it over.  But, this time I felt a different approach would be more appropriate.  I empathized with Calvin, and let him know that he would experience rejection in life and that it is hard and it hurts.  He acknowledged that it hurt his feelings.  I have a chair in the bathroom, since I have a healing foot, so I pulled him into my lap, where he curled up and I just held him until he felt a little better.  I then explained that the Bible tells us we should be kind to those who are mean to us.  I'll admit, I had low expectations regarding how he would respond to that.  To my surprise, he 'got it' and announced that he would give Violet a piece of candy.  Then, unbeknownst to me, he went downstairs, got out a piece of paper and wrote 'i LOVE ViOLet'  He put a sticker on it and then gave it to her with an orange tic tac from his own personal tic tac box.  I was beyond amazed and very touched by this.  My 5 year old son set a great example for me today.

I love you, Calvin!

Dad

Eli - 15 month well baby check up (at 16 months)

Took Eli in for his doctor check up today.  I completely forgot he needed a check at 15 months for measurements, vaccinations, etc.  So I got in a month late. 

Stats:

26 lbs 14 oz (75th percentile)
32 1/2" tall (75th percentile)
19 1/4 cm head circumference (90th percentile)

Eli, we've always known you had a big head. :)

I took him alone since Violet and Calvin were both at school and Vanessa was in preschool.  It felt odd to be the only one pushing the stroller and pushing all the handicap door opening and elevator buttons.  Those things are always decided on if I go in with all the kids for someone's appointment so there is no fighting.

We arrived early for his 9:45 appointment time.  I dropped Vanessa off at preschool at 9:00 am so I took the liberty to fill my mug with Starbuck's coffee on the way and sip it on the 20 minute drive to the doctor.  thanks mom for the SBux gift card!  Made it to his appointment around 9:25 so he got plenty of time to run around the play area.  He loved going in and out of the little play house, down the hallway, and smacked his hands on the concave mirror on the wall.  When the nurse came back to call us she found Eli in the hall by the waiting area and had opened the control door for an air conditioner unit she never knew existed.  She thought that was pretty funny.

He got weighed on the scale, measured, then came to the exam room with me.  He was constantly walking and getting into something.  He wanted up on a chair, across the little side table, on my lap, back down, and the circle continued.  The only time he did sit still was for the doctor to listen to his heart and check his ears.  He seemed pretty interested in all of that.  He was reported to be very healthy.  I opted for tylenol for him before he got 3 shots and got over those pretty quick.  He was so happy sucking his paci and had his blankets before the pokes.  Screamed pretty hard, then when I picked him up went right back to sucking. 

I was pretty close to Rachel's place so I stopped over to see her for about 45 minutes before I needed to go get Vanessa.  She let me borrow a few dresses to try on for a wedding I am going to in November.

pics to come, I'll transfer them later.

Women's retreat recap

I am thankful to have had the opportunity to attend a women's retreat this past weekend with a bunch of other women from Bethany Bible Chapel.  The purpose of the weekend was to strengthen the bond between women, learn as a younger woman from older women, and focus on what is the basis of our worth.  I drove there on Friday, Oct 4th as a passenger in Rachel's car and I came home with Faith on Sunday (Oct 6th) afternoon.  (Rachel went on to IA City after the retreat for an ortho meeting)  Dave was home with the kids, but with his left foot still healing only 3 weeks past his flat foot surgery, I asked my parents to help out with child care.  My dad came on Fri night through Sun morning to help out and my mom came Sat evening and stayed til I got home Sunday afternoon.  I am so grateful to have such loving supportive parents to help out in times like this.

We did lots of singing together, hearing testimonies from 2 ladies, and had time to break up into small groups for part of Saturday and discuss this topic in detail and pray together.  Our culture does not communicate worth through the eyes of Christ, so we must look past "culture" and focus our eyes, hearts, and minds on the fact that our identity in Christ is what makes us worthy in His eyes. 

There was lots of discussion about this verse:

1 Peter 3:3-4

³ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
Some struggled with the phrase "gentle and quiet spirit" because they were given louder or more boisterous and outgoing personalities.  It says "spirit", not "personality".  This verse is describing the spirit and motive that drives your personality, not the personality itself. You can still be outgoing and strong and passionate, while also possessing a quiet and gentle spirit underneath.

That said, it’s also important to note that a woman can be painfully shy and quiet, while also possessing a rebellious and bitter spirit. It’s not the personality that this passage is addressing, but the guiding compass behind it. God cares about your heart.

Another point brought out was regarding this verse:

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the human to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.” . . . but for the human no suitable helper was found. Genesis 2:18 & 20

I had to look this one up to explain it again correctly because I didn't take notes during the conference.  But this article sums it up exactly as it was explained.  I like how this is written.

http://newlife.id.au/equality-and-gender-issues/a-suitable-helper/

Woman was created as "helper" which in Hebrew is specifically the word "ezer".  It is a combination of two roots, meaning "to rescue, to save" and "strength".   Ezer describes aspects of God’s character – he is our strength, our rescuer, our protector and our help!  And ezer was the Holy Spirit’s choice of word to describe the first woman.  Eve was someone who would provide valuable and vital strength and assistance to Adam.

The ladies as a group also ended the retreat with a fancy dinner where we got a chance to dress up formally and enjoy a tea party/dinner together and listen to Laura Woodhouse, our guest speaker, explain these same things about a woman's worth to us in her fun, southern way.

B elieve
E ndure
A dore
U nderstand
T rust
Y ield

Vanessa's preschool painting

Just taking a pic and posting. :)

Vanessa's snot blowing sneezes

Sorry for the gross-ness. I don't know if this is blog-worthy, but I just feel the need to write about it.  I completely lost track of how many times a day Vanessa sneezes and completely empties the contents of her sinuses into her hands.  She blows huge snots out of her nose, and the sneezes and snot blowing always occur at really bad times, like when I'm in the middle of cutting fat off raw chicken (hate "chicken hands") or when I'm changing a diaper.  Poor girl.  I don't think it bothers her, but she's at the point now where if she sneezes, she catches it in her hands, and freezes in that position until someone comes to help her. 

Calvin's question

Calvin knows all the words (not by reading, but by memory) to a book we have at our house called There Was A Coyote.  It's a play on there was an old lady who swallowed a fly, except this coyote eats things like cowboy boots, a cactus, etc, and eventually the moon.  He burps at the end and asks "Is breakfast soon?" on the last page.  Calvin woke up hungry the other morning and wanted to ask Dave when he could eat so he went to the book and copied the letters from that question on this piece of red construction paper and gave it to Dave. 

Calvin's idea to set up breakfast for the family

Calvin got Violet on board to help with his idea to set up breakfast for the family on Saturday morning.

He had her write a sign....spelled like this:  It said "Mom we did are best to make it mom day. We got out evrything for you!"

They think they got up "in the middle of the night" ... but really it was closer to 6:30 or 7.  The sun hadn't peeked above the horizon yet so to them, it was nighttime.

They decided they wanted pancakes, so they put every ingredient on the counter top they could think of that went into pancakes.  A tub of flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, non stick spray, oil, peanut butter, and syrup.  Violet put 3 eggs in a plastic bag in the fridge.  Calvin put two of the grape tomatoes that were in a little dish in the corner of the kitchen right in front of all the ingredients for me to eat because he knows I love tomatoes.  They set out plates for everyone, and found a bag of butterscotch chips and put 3 chips by each plate for a little treat.  Forks for all.

It was very sweet.  They tried their absolute best to make my morning super duper easy.  It was very sweet and thoughtful.  I made pancakes for them and they loved it!

Calvin's motivation for doing this was "to get caught doing good" ~ a concept they're doing at Waterloo Christian School.  Teachers catch students being good and send notes home to parents, and in return, we can catch our kids being good at home, write down the event on the slip of paper, and sent it back to school to share with the teacher and the rest of the class.  I wrote up a note for Calvin's teacher, Miss Smits, and sent it in his green folder so she could read it.

Calvin is off to a great start in K!

I see Calvin's paperwork come home each week and have been happy to see he has scored perfectly on everything he has worked on so far.  Good job Calvin!

Eli - turning into a little climber

I noticed Eli grunting and walked over to watch him.  He had gotten one leg knee up on the coffee table and was trying with all his might to conquer and climb on top.  He reached his arms further, got more grip with his knee, and climbed up to the top and stood on the table.  He grinned so big! 

Strike a pose

Yesterday's thunderstorms were the first storms we've had in a long time.  After school Violet and Calvin went outside on the front porch to enjoy the steamy, rumbly, wet weather.  They started pretending the front porch was their stage, and every time a car drove by, they would strike a silly pose and freeze until the car passed by.  They showed me their favorite pose and it consisted of Calvin jumping into Violet's arms and she held him suspended in the air while he made a goofy face and stuck his arms and legs out as far as he could.  She can't hold him long and dropped him in fits of laughter.  Such creative and silly kids!!

Vanessa wants to trade eyes

Vanessa was grumping about not finding a highlights sticker puzzle activity today.  She said her eyes don't work.  I asked her if her eyes were broken, and she said, "yes, I need new eyes." 
then she thought more and said, "I can give my eyes to Hannah Beth and she can have mine."  Ok honey.

Yellow morning

As the sun rose this morning the color creeping in the windows was very yellowish.  Something about the clouds, the fog, and the sun...made it seem like that.  Calvin noticed this and told me with absolute authority: "Mom, we are IN THE YELLOW of a rainbow right now."

On our drive to school, he noticed how it was no longer yellow, instead it was foggy and gray, and said, "huh. I didn't think there was gray in a rainbow."  

First few weeks of school/preschool 2013

Whew!  My "morning rush" is over.  I woke up at 6:30 and haven't stopped moving until now (9:04am).  From 6:30-6:50 I'm hurrying to shower and get dressed.  At 6:55 I'm dragging kids out of bed, which wasn't TOO hard this morning because they were all sleeping by 8:00 last night. 

Last night the girls wanted to sleep together in Vanessa's bed which I let them do for about 15 minutes.  They were being too goofy so I had to split them up, Violet went back to the top bunk.  She was crying and upset that I had to separate them and I asked her why, and she said, "Vanessa was putting her arm around my neck (I think in a loving way) and I liked it and I'm sad."  Which made me sad...I love to see the girls loving on each other and connecting.  It was sweet to hear that Violet missed Vanessa's affection.  Vanessa's affection is something Dave and I have been praying for specifically.  She used to be the kid that said, "no!" with a scowl if we asked her for a hug or a kiss.  Now she happily climbs in our arms and snuggles and gives us hugs.  Its pretty amazing. 

Dave is having his first foot surgery to correct his flat feet today, and he has been in MN for his pre-op appointment yesterday and today, and hopefully he will drive home tomorrow.  His procedure doesn't require putting him out, he'll just have a local nerve block and sedation.
So that means I take Violet and Calvin to school and getting all the kids IN the van by 7:40 is a challenge.  Not impossible, however, just requires much more effort than I'm used to exerting so early in the morning.  My priorities are getting Violet and Calvin dressed for school, fed breakfast while I pack their lunches, and they get shoes on and backpacks in the van.  Vanessa is usually out of bed and dressed in something other than pajamas.  I never quite know what she is going to pull out of her closet and put on.  Today she put on her pink shorts with pockets (she loves pockets!) and a tank top.  She rode in the van to take V and C to school with that on and I realize how chilly the morning felt.  So I had her change into warmer clothes - she decided to put on a purple hooded sweatshirt (with a pocket!) and some jeans, which she needed help getting on.  They were 2 inches too short.  Oh well.  Its preschool, and I guess she has to grow up. :)  I gotta get out the 4T pants for my little Vanessa!!!!

So while the older 3 were buckling in the van, I got Eli out of bed and changed his diaper as fast as I could and got him a sippy cup full of milk and got him buckled in the van.  That usually keeps him pretty happy while I'm driving to W'loo and back.  He is so snuggly in the morning, its hard to put him down.  He clings to my chest and sucks on his paci and clutches his favorite blanket.  I put him in his car seat and he stays happy usually.  Calvin is sitting near him in the van and Eli started clapping and smiling when he saw Calvin.

So when I get home from taking V and C to school, I cleaned up the kitchen, ate breakfast (I shared my egg/sausage sandwich with Eli), and made sure Vanessa was ready for preschool.  She absolutely loves going to preschool.  She is excited to go every morning and I can tell she has a great time.

Calvin is having the hardest time adjusting to life in school.  He says he likes lunch and recess the best.  He says time in the classroom is boring and he doesn't like doing so much work.  I asked Miss Smits how Calvin was doing in general last week and she nodded and said, "He's doing quite well! He's very respectful and not a problem at all."  So I was happy to hear that.  I just know he is having a tough time adjusting to the fact that he is not at home as much, gets less time to play legos or whatever else he wants to do, and gets less time to play on my kindle.  This past summer I let the kids each play for 20 or 30 minutes each day if they had their responsibilities done in their room (beds made, shades open, fan off, dressed, pajamas put away, etc). 

Well, I decided to make "kindle time" on weekends only.  My kids are a strong magnet to any screen if its lit up (no matter the show!) playing something and if one kid gets a turn on the kindle, the other two INSIST on watching, and this is usually how fights break out.  Someone bumped someone else making them lose at their game, etc.  Some games require moving the kindle by tipping it to move their character so its touch/bump sensitive.  The reason I decided to eliminate the kindle on weekdays is because the kids all get so little time together after school that if they ALL get a turn, then an hour and a half goes by and they are staring at a screen and not interacting with the family during the only hour and a half we get together after Dave is done working and after supper is over.  They have homework to do, piano to practice, and legos to build.  I was happy to get Calvin's packet of worksheets in his kindergarten folder back, and he scored 100% on every paper he did.  He had some letter T writing homework and he was agreeable and did it cheerfully and asked for markers so he could color in the pictures of the turtles.

Calvin's not a fan of this kindle-on-the-weekends-thing.  He often breaks down crying and says it will be forever until he can play again.  He thinks I'll forget to give him a turn. 

There was no real adjustment for Violet to school.  Its her third year going all day (2nd grade) and she thrives in the classroom, loves her teacher/friends, and does well.  She can be a pill sometimes and say things and interrupt Calvin because she knows exactly what makes him upset, but overall, she's doing great.

Eli is napping so its eerily quiet in this house. I am going to get to work on some Awana things.  I'm the new secretary for this Awana program at BBC and its honestly big, big job.  The record keeping is so laborious, so I'm making a decision to change things and buy a software to make the job easier.  Lots of data entry but it NEEDS to be done.

Vanessa watercolor painting

Vanessa enjoyed painting watercolor circles this afternoon.  She would exclaim "Yes!" when she colored in a circle.  She loves being observed and constantly asked me what color I wanted her to use next.

I also showed her how to draw a square with dots in it and she copied me and did a great job.

Vanessa's first haircut

It was time to do something about Vanessa's crazy scraggly/straight/wildly crazy hair today.  Rachel picked Vanessa, Eli and myself after I dropped off our van for a few hours at Community Honda for an oil change and other work.  We killed some time by walking around the mall, getting some pizza at the mall for lunch, deciding to get Vanessa's hair trimmed, and walking around Hobby Lobby.

I picked Salon Elite because it was close and I've always had pretty good experiences here.  Vanessa was the only client! :)  She said she didn't want a haircut but sat on the booster, wore the cape, and watched really quietly and sat still.  My main concern with her hair was to not take away length, but cut shorter the straight/fuzzy pieces that laid on top that hid all the cute curls underneath.  The lady knew exactly what I was after and she cut those pieces shorter to create some nice layers on top of her hair. 

Before:

After (and she said, "I wike the haircut!" and an hour later said, "Can I get another haircut?"):

More pics from beginning of school year 2013

Vanessa's first day of Tues/Thurs 3/4 yr preschool at OHCP

Vanessa went to her first day of preschool yesterday on Tues Aug 27th, 2013.  She was excited to take pictures with her backpack by the door and smiled for me (that is rare).  When I tell her she starts school too like Violet and Calvin she says, "no, PRE-school".  It sounds more like "PEE-school."  haha!

She didn't recognize her teacher's helper, Mrs. Netz, so she was hesitant to go to her when I dropped her off.  I helped her find her hook for her backpack, hang it up, and I took her to her classroom.  Mrs. Nuece greeted her, gave Vanessa her nametag, and Vanessa took it and put it right on her shirt.  I got her distracted with a purple dot painting thing and then she seemed happy.  I told her I love you, quick hug, and that I'd be back when it was over to get her.  I made a quick exit while she was happy.

I picked her up at 11:30 and went inside the building to get her.  I did see her playing on the playground on my way over with the rest of the class and she was running around happily.  When she saw me in the hallway she said, "THERE'S my mommy!" and gave me a big hug.  She was excited to run over to where her backpack was hanging on a hook.  Her teacher said she did great.  Vanessa's review of the day was this.

"Mommy, I had fun at preschool!  I had a snack, I went potty, and played at the park and I have friends!" (which she pronounces "twends")

Today she said she wanted to go back to preschool.  So that is great!  She saw this blog post and the pictures and said, "I want to go to preschool.  I will have fun! That is my backpack!  Can I go preschool again?"

Vanessa's teacher, Mrs. Nuece (pronounced "Neese") 

Calvin's first day of kindergarten

Calvin started kindergarten on Monday August 26th.  He didn't seem nervous at all and was happy to get some new things for school.  A new backpack, a lunch cooler, new water bottle and thermos for it, and some new shirts.  When getting dressed and ready, he really wanted to do his hair like dad.  So Dave helped him stick his hair up a little.  It was adorable.  He seemed to take the introduction to kindergarten in stride.  Violet got to her classroom first, then we waited in line with all the other kindergarteners and their families who were greeting Miss Smits and taking photos.  I snapped a few pictures and got a great one with him and Miss Smits.  He seemed happy, gave us kisses and hugs (even gave them to Violet, so sweet, I wonder how long THAT will last!) and walked to his locker and classroom with ease.  I was excited for him, and not really sad at all.

He wasn't very chatty when I picked him up.  He gave me his lunch cooler and told me there was kind of a lot of garbage inside it.  :)  A few wrappers from food.

Violet's first day of 2nd grade

Our whole family went to the first day of school to send the kids off together.  Violet said on the way there "I hope this isn't a dream!" meaning...she couldn't wait to go!  She was excited to start school and meet up with her friends who she hadn't seen much at all over the summer.

Her teacher is Miss Oppman.  Miss Oppman substituted teaching Violet in kindergarten for a few months when Miss Smits was out with eye trouble.  So she is pretty familiar with her and seems to enjoy her.  Violet does say frequently that she misses Miss Schoonhoven from 1st grade.

My friend gave me a few shirts that could work for Violet.  Her daughter is the same age but weighs more and the shirts didn't fit her daughter.  So Violet picked out this pretty white shirts that was given to her and really wanted a white flower in her hair to match.  She looked pretty cute!  And not to mention, very grown up!   

Her review of the first day of school pretty normal.  She said it was like a normal day except she had a different teacher and the classroom is pretty normal.  This school thing is pretty routine for her, I'm happy she adjusted so well.

Eli - 15 months

I'm a week ahead posting this (what!...ahead?) but had a moment of quiet time so I thought I'd post.  Eli is officially weaned.  He stopped nursing 2 days ago.  The transition was very easy for him but I think its harder for me somehow.  I will miss it.  I know it would only get harder to stop nursing if he was older.  He's eating most things and drinking lots of milk and water. When he doesn't want something he spits his tongue or makes a "shhh" sound with his mouth. He almost runs around the house now, and is trying to say more things.  His speech consists of these words:  more, mama, meena (he says this when he wants a drink), Bye-let (Violet), Eee-yii (Eli), here, uh-oh, a word for Calvin that is not understandable, and bye.  He sticks his arms straight up in the air and squeezes his fingers into a fist and opens them quickly when he wants to be picked up.  He still takes a paci and snuggled in his swaddling blankets when he's tired and ready to go to bed. He really loves it when I hold him and start bouncing 3 times and count to 3 then toss him up in the air and catch him.  He giggles and laughs every time.  He's such a little sweetie.

And of course, he can't stay a baby forever.  He is starting to throw these (I have to say it, they're pretty adorable) little mini-fits.  If he's upset about something, he'll sit on the ground purposefully, lay down, then start whining and rolling over.  The little fits last about 20 seconds and he gets over it and gets up and walks away.  He's also a cabinet digger - opens all the doors he can and pulls stuff out.

He can get up and down stairs very easily.  He usually goes down stairs backwards but this week he figured out how he can scoot down a step forwards one at a time.  He also likes throwing everything down the stairs, and into the pool on the deck.

Vanessa still bothers him all the time.  She is constantly taking things out of his hands, putting her hands on his body as he walks to "guide him along" somehow but ends up knocking him over.  She splashes him with water and takes his paci and blanket away from him.  Its no wonder he doesn't seem to like her at all.  I'm praying about their relationship.

Violet loves him to pieces

he wasn't all that happy with me that I put him down to take a picture, but it turned out alright.  He's getting there, becoming "one of the bunch"

yeah, he hangs out in his pajamas a lot