Two death posts in a row, this is rare. I barely have time to blog right now because I am catching up with things at home between trips. I will make this very short, and update later. We got news that Dave's Grandma Butler (his mom's mom) was very sick and went to the ER. She was diagnosed with sepsis, failing kidneys, and possibly pancreatic cancer. She went downhill fast. She refused treatment or surgery to fix anything and told doctors and family she was ready to meet her Savior. Dave really wanted to see her before she died so our family packed up and left with in two hours of getting that phone call. She lived in MN so it was about a 4 hr drive. We got a call about 3 hours into the drive that she had died. We went to the hotel instead of the hospital, and spent the next 4 nights there. The visitation was Saturday afternoon, and the funeral was Sunday afternoon. We drove home Monday afternoon, and are heading to Chicago on Thursday evening to attend the burial at the cemetary where his grandpa Joe Butler was buried. There are lots more details I want to record...but that is the basics of it.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Alright...so now that I've unpacked, completed 5 loads of laundry, caught up with the financial software after a month of being behind and balanced three bank accounts, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher a few times, and got back into the rhythm of being at home...I am going to sit down and blog a little. Violet is watching a Jake and the Neverland Pirates video on the other computer, Calvin is sleeping, and Vanessa just woke up and is playing on the floor. I might have 20 minutes...but we'll see how this goes.
I mention that Dave's grandma got sick quickly and died with in two days of feeling sick. We tried making it up to MN in time to see her before she died, but we didn't quite make it. She died around 6 pm on Thursday (Apr 28) of last week. After hearing about her last minutes from family members, it was evident it was His plan we didn't make it. Grandma Butler's daughter Joyce had said her goodbyes around 3:30 and went home with Aunt Sara (Dave's cousin). Dave's Aunt Laura had spent the last 48 hours with Grandma Butler in the hospital with her, never leaving her side....even slept on the hospital room floor Wed night after she was admitted. Aunt Laura shared some of her last moments with her mother when she spoke at the funeral. Aunt Laura shared that she has had a very rough few years with her mom since she moved to Minnesota. Grandma Butler has been quite rough and grumpy towards her (while suffering from dementia, not remembering much) all the time that Laura had tried to lovingly care for her. Some of the things said by grandma were pretty mean, and most of it was because she did not know why she was being put where she was, and being separated from her daughter (Joyce) who she had always lived with before. Aunt Laura was taking this pretty tough because I can only imagine how hurtful it would be to have your mother speak to you the way she did.
Laura shared some things that Grandma Butler said during her last few moments before she died. It was almost as if to the degree that she was dying, her soft, sweet and loving side started to show through all the tough skin. She said she loved all her children so much. She told Aunt Laura she loved her. She even had a sense of humor with her as Aunt Laura slept on the hospital room floor Wednesday night. She told her "Well its been a long time since we've had a sleep over!" and as she was sleeping, she woke up and said "I've been to glory, and its beautiful!" and then she didn't breathe anymore and died. Laura said she received healing from those sweet moments with her mom, knowing that she was loved, but she said she was sad she isn't able to know and learn more about this sweet lady she exposed the last day of her life.
Friday was a "normal" day for us. With no funeral arrangements made immediately, Dave got to work in the hotel, and I had the kids to myself. After breakfast, I took all of them to the hotel pool for a few hours before lunch. Vanessa sat in a stroller munching on goldfish crackers, and Violet and Calvin swam with their life jackets on. Violet wants to learn how to swim so badly, and even tried but knew she couldn't...so she left on her life jacket. Calvin stayed near the steps the whole time and didn't "let" his life jacket let him float so he could swim...he just splashed water the whole time.
All 3 kids took naps (swimming wears ya out!) in the hotel room (which, i should explain, was REALLY nice, it was a 3 bedroom suite, with one room having 2 queens, a living room/kitchen area, and a separate king size bed in another room...alltogether 2 bathrooms. While the kids slept I tried to rest. Dave finished up working later in the evening.
Saturday the visitation was scheduled from 5-7, with a private family viewing from 4-5 pm. We had quite a bit of time to kill so we decided to drive down to the Mall of America, thinking the kids would enjoy legoland. Well...there was a view of the amusement park right next to legoland, and the sights and sounds of rollercoasters flying by captured their interest WAY more than legos. We decided to buy some points to go on some rides in the park, and that took up all the time we had. From 10-2:30 we took them on lots of different rides. Lots of little truck rides, car races, roller coasters, the ferris wheel, blow-up jumping things, etc....you name it...they had A BLAST. They know the park as "legoland" because that is what we told them we were going to, so the name stuck. They want to go back to "legoland!" again! It is no longer "Camp Snoopy" as I fondly remember it being when I was younger. It is now "Nickelodean Universe" and all the rides are Dora the Explorer, Swiper the Fox, Spongebob, etc. Violet was brave enough to go on a roller coaster with me. There was a new crazy upside down twirly roller coaster that Dave and I each went on separately. We got lunch on the way home (we stopped at Panera) and quickly changed our clothes and headed over to the viewing. The casket was open, which Dave was glad for. Since he couldn't make it to his grandma's side before she died, he was hoping to physically see her body before she was buried. Lots of the family was there. Sean and April and their family came out from Pennsylvania, Josh and Carrie came from Chicago, Martha, Tim and Deb Butler, Roger and Mary Butler, Kala Butler, and many others. Aunt Joyce was having a tough time, stroking her mom's hand and face, almost climbing into the casket at times, crying. It was hard to see her. Her emotions came in waves, being OK for awhile and crying at times.
Our kids ran around with all their cousins and said they were having a good time. The time went slowly, and we left at 8 pm.
Dave talked with his sister Lisa on the phone that night, and she was really having a tough time with not being able to go to the funeral and be with family. We got on the internet quick and found a very inexpensive ticket and bought it for just her (not her family) to come to MN for one night and leave the next day. The Lord worked that out beautifully, with a great price and a good schedule for travel. She was in Minnesota by 10 am the next morning, and we picked her up from the airport. Sunday afternoon we all met at a restaurant called Rockwoods in Elk River. It was grandma's favorite lunch place to go, so we all met there in her honor. After lunch, with nowhere to go until the funeral (the hotel was 30 miles from where we were) we decided to head up to the meeting hall in Anoka and let the kids play in the nursery/toy area until it started. That worked out pretty well, as all the cousins had a great time playing together.
The funeral was really nice. (I am picking up updating this post from weeks ago, I can't really remember all the details!) Joyce got up and said a poem she wrote. Dave shared a few things about experiences with his grandma, Sean spoke a little bit, then Aunt Laura shared Grandma Butler's last moments. Songs were sung, we sang loudly the doxolgy, and then it was over. I spent most of the rest of the day in the child care room watching the kids play after the funeral at the Trott Brook meeting hall - Dave was tied up talking with his family, which I was totally fine with - there were so many people there he loves to talk with and many who he hadn't connected with in years. Kala stayed with me and talked for awhile. April was in there with us too off and on.
That night the kids went swimming at the hotel, and a few people came to our hotel to hang out. Lisa got to spend time with two childhood friends, LeAnne Canner and Carrie (chmura) Rowe. Dave's cousins Brad and Kyle were there, and Jeff came too. Everybody was hungry...so we ordered pizza...and the night got really late. As I ate pizza in the lobby of the hotel, Calvin fell asleep in my lap. We said our goodbyes and got everybody to bed pretty quick.
I think Monday we drove home...I don't remember when or what time we left. At this point its all a blur! We took Lisa to the airport in the afternoon (we had a 1 pm check out) and drove back to CF, with a short stop in Mason City to visit Grandma Jo. We met up at a small coffee shop near East Park, got some drinks, and let the kids run around the park for an hour. Short and sweet visit, and got back on the road. It felt like an entire day of travel!
No comments:
Post a Comment