Funeral in Arkansas for Mama Ruth

My great grandma Ruth died last week Thursday. She would have been 112 on Sept 30th. Everyone in the family was sad, but we all knew it was her time. I don't know exactly for sure that she was saved. I hadn't spoken at all with her about it, but I knew she loved the Lord and she made mention that the Lord had taken good care of her throughout her whole life, and she quoted the Psalm "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Most of the Lincoln family are not Christians, so my prayer was that this event of death in the family would make them think more seriously about eternity and that someone in their path of life would lead them to Christ. So we decided to make the trek across three states to go to the burial and funeral. Jay decided to drive along with us in our van, so we picked him up on Sunday afternoon in Cedar Rapids with the goal of staying at a hotel in Kansas City. It was a 6 hour drive there. I think we stopped a couple times, I can't really remember anymore. Its all a blur of 4 days of driving and sleeping in three different hotels, a different one each night. I'm surprised we didn't forget anything anywhere, we had SO much stuff to haul into each hotel room each night and pack/repack three times. The first hotel was a Homewood Suites in Kansas City. We arrived around 9 pm after eating supper at Denny's upon arrival. Their pool was closed, Violet was really bummed about it. This hotel was a nice room - it had a separate bedroom with a door, so the kids both slept in pack and play cribs (yes, even Violet barely fits in one!) crammed in the corner together. It took them awhile to fall asleep, they kept giggling and playing games, throwing blankets in each other's crib. Once they fell asleep though, they slept hard. Jay slept on an air mattress in a sleeping bag, and Rachel rolled in around midnight and joined us. She stayed in Iowa City later on Sunday to go to the Iowa Dental meetings and make contacts with other doctors in Iowa. She drove separately and got in late - everybody else was sleeping when she got in, but she made it safely. That morning we drove to Van Buren, AR for Mama Ruth's burial site. She was buried next to her husband in her home town. We somehow underestimated the time it was going to take us to get from Kansas City to Van Buren, and once we got on the road, we figured it would take 2 more hours than we expected. We all felt a little sense of panic when we realized that, and started driving a little faster. Rachel plugged in the location on her GPS, and the device informed us that we would arrive 30 minutes late. We drove a little faster, made up some time, and the estimated time of arrival kept shrinking close to 1 pm. We got there at 1:07 pm. Just in time. We threw a dress on Violet once we got there. We had to stop for gas once along the way, which set us back a few more minutes, but we made the stop in record speed. Poor Violet was so confused. Just being three years old, she obviously doesn't understand death or what a burial or funeral is. She asked the most literal questions. "Who is in that box? How did she get there? Is she having fun in the box? You mean they're going to put her in the ground? Can I help put the dirt over the box?" She got confused with the name Ruth. She thought that my aunt Ruth died and was in that box. She said "bye Ruth" very sincerely when we left the burial site. She touched the white coffin and then left with the rest of us. Calvin stayed in the stroller and kept his eyes safely on mom or dad the whole time. He wasn't so sure about all these "strangers" getting in his face saying hi to him. A little church that Mama Ruth used to be a member of in Van Buren hosted the family and some friends for a small funeral service and reception after the burial. We had a few snacks (fruit and cookies) after wards and the kids finally got to run around a little bit. When that was over, we changed our clothes and prepared for another "long" drive of 150 miles to Little Rock. We first stopped at the house that Mama Ruth used to live in in Van Buren. We found the house at 1111 Murty Lane. We took a couple pictures of the house, then stopped at a different cemetery to see the gravestones of Grandma Rowena's grand father and relatives. We grabbed lunch at a Sonic (there are Sonics everywhere down there!) and drove to Little Rock. Violet was by far the easiest traveler. She definitely had her moments of fussing and whining, but she was generally happy and slept decent when she was tired. I think the most fun thing for her was having a personal CD player and her own headphones. She got to listen to all the music she wanted and the rest of us didn't have to hear the silly songs the whole time! It worked great. She thought we could hear them. And she also said "I am turning the music louder so the car can drive faster!" The day before we left I picked up three CDs full of kid songs (123 songs!) to keep her occupied. She loves music so much, I knew she'd love them. A few of the songs she already knew, so that was a bonus. Calvin definitely had worse moments than Violet. He is so intense. He did not sleep as well as he should have during travel time in the car. He fought sleep so badly, and when he did sleep, it was for no longer than an hour. There were times that he would just scream at the top of his lungs. And I could tell that he just HAD to scream. Its like his brain knew nothing else and screaming was his way to express himself. He was tired, sick of being strapped into his seat for hours and hours, and just had to let it out. It did wear him out, though, and often times after these episodes of screaming, he would fall asleep. Poor kid. We got to the hotel in Little Rock and I took Violet swimming, and Dave put Calvin to bed. Rachel and Jay joined us in our hotel room for a few minutes. Rachel brought her computer along so she could show Violet some pictures of who died and who was alive. She saw some good pictures, and we pointed out that Great Grandma Ruth (the old lady with white hair) died, and was in the box. That seemed to make her happy and realize that her favorite aunt Ruth wasn't dead. She didn't get to bed until 10:40 pm that night, and slept hard through the night. The next morning we all slept in til 8:45 am. On Tuesday morning, most of the family in town met for a breakfast at a place called Delicious Temptations. The kids snarfed down huge pancakes and I had sausage biscuits and gravy. My mom took Calvin outside numerous times so he could run around. He was never happy just sitting at the table. He wanted to grab everything in sight and throw it fiercely to the ground. Violet was really happy to see Aunt Ruth and Uncle Michael when then showed up for breakfast with the rest of the family. She asked her "did you die?" and Ruth graciously told her no, and it was her grandma Ruth that died. We spent the next hour over at Mama Ruth's old apartment over at Chenal Parkway village. Aunt Lucy told us to go there and take whatever we wanted. It was weird to be there with most of the room cleared out and no bed. I looked around a little but didn't see anything I liked. My grandma Rowena suggested I take a blanket, which I thought was a good idea. I also saw a big box of baby wipes in the closet. We took those, too. Most of the family had already gone through and taken things they wanted. The church service at Second Presbyterian Church where Mama Ruth had attended her whole Little Rock life was at 2 pm. Not such a good time because I knew the kids would be tired, but we dressed up and went. They did surprisingly well - lighting up whenever the congregation would sing a song. We even sang Amazing Grace, which perked up Violet. She proudly sang along with the rest of us for the first verse, which she has memorized. I got lots of compliments on the kids, saying how well behaved they were and how cute they were, etc. I was glad to hear they had made a good impression on people. During the service, the pastor related some funny things that Mama Ruth said in her life time. She was such a humorous person. He told a story of when she made an appearance at some church event to help raise money for a new roof. She joked that the church could just put her in a cage and charge a dollar for people to view her and by the time the day was over, they could raise enough money to pay for it. ha!! She knew she was sort of a spectacle with people, being as old as she was. She was the 31st oldest person in the world at the time she died, and the oldest person in AR at the time of her death. The church hosted family and friends for another reception with cookies and fruit. The room was enormous, the size of a gymnasium. There was a slide show of pictures up on a screen of Mama Ruth and other family members. I kept Calvin in the stroller, afraid I'd lose him in that crowd of people. He runs SO fast, I have to run to keep up with him, so even though he was rearing to get out of his stroller, I wouldn't let him. Violet helped herself many times to punch and cookies. I just let her do it, even though the mommy in my head was screaming "stop eating junk food!". She actually reached for some strawberries and at a bunch of those along with some grapes. I didn't know she liked strawberries. Apparently she does! lol We talked to many family members before leaving for the car and getting comfy clothes to change into. We planned to drive half way home tonight, and stop overnight in Columbia, MO. We left Little Rock around 5 pm, and got into Columbia at 11 pm. That drive was miserable. The first 2 hours was windy twisty roads and nobody slept, they just whined and fussed. I was about to lose it. Finally Calvin fell asleep, and then Violet did. Dave drove that whole trip, and was exhausted when we pulled in. Both kids were sleeping when we pulled up to the hotel so they were NOT happy when we had to wake them up to take them to the room. Like clockwork, we each took a kid and got them ready for bed. Calvin was happy to get in his crib and Violet started the night on the air mattress, but she kept tossing and turning. Dave brought her to bed with him and she slept soundly the rest of the night. I slept by myself in the other bed. My grandparents and parents were in a car together - and they decided to stay in the same hotel with us so we could have breakfast together. Jay stayed in mom and dad's room so he could have a bed. That next morning, Calvin was the first to wake up when the sunlight peeked through a crack in the window curtain. He popped his head up and said "hi!" I tried to pretend I hadn't lifted my head up and seen him, but he knew I saw him. He kept saying "hi! hi!" until everybody woke up. Little stinker. He tried jumping up and down in his pack and play like it was his crib (and his crib is really bouncy!) but it didn't work the same. It was repeated thumping...over and over. Finally everybody else crawled out of bed. Everybody was hungry, so we went down to get breakfast in our PJs. We knew we were going to stay a couple extra hours so Violet and Calvin could play in the pool....so staying in our PJs just made sense. Breakfast was delicious. They had cheese omelets, sausage, biscuits, yogurt, cereal, yummy coffee, juice, and lots of other options. My grandma Rowena helped Calvin get breakfast. Violet munched on her food and got lots of attention by my family and the hotel staff. The manager came over and gave each kid a webkin toy. My grandparents and parents left, and we stayed a little longer so the kids could swim. This time Dave got in the water with them. I was too tired and had no desire to get in the water. We let them swim a little (Dave held Calvin the whole time and Violet swam by herself with the life jacket). Jay watched, too. We finally cut off swim time and got showered and checked out. We hit the road by 11 am, and tried finding a starbucks with no success. Dave was a little grumpy that he couldn't start out the morning with his customary mocha, but he got over it. I started out driving the first leg of the trip. We were almost home! Well, not exactly, but this was our last leg of the whole journey. We drove until we stopped in a little town in Missouri called Monroe City and got Hardees for lunch. Jay drove the rest of the way to Cedar Rapids. I don't remember much of that drive. I think the kids slept a little. I sat in the back seat and read a book. We were all just tired and really wanted to get home. We finally started seeing familiar territory when we got onto hwy 380. Jay drove to his house, and stopped for a bathroom break and let the kids see his rabbit, Corby. They loved to feed him little treats. We got back in the car after about 10 minutes, eager to get home, knowing we only had 50 more miles to go. The time went quick, and before we knew it, we were pulling into our driveway. yayyyy!!! The kids tore through the house, so happy to be home and to be able to run and play with toys again. Dave and I slowly unpacked the van...trudging with each step. We knew the kids had bundles of energy, so we rode on our bicycles to the nearest park and let them hash it out for an hour on the playground. The loved it, giggling with every new thing they came across. We biked home and got our tired kids to bed. I looked at the mess of stuff on the kitchen floor and asked Dave for help unpacking and straightening things up. He was reluctant to help but knew it was important to me to get a start on this stack of stuff. In 20 minutes, all the dirty laundry was in baskets in the laundry room and most everything was put away. Yayy. I could finally relax and start laundry tomorrow. Dave watched a little TV and I settled into a chair and read a book. We just sat with out moving for probably 2 hours. It felt nice to be home and relax.